Don't Whistle in the Woods — The Dark Legends of Appalachia

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Wolves & Wisemen Reignited — Episode 34

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About This Episode

If you hear something screaming in the woods...

No, you didn't.

If something calls your name...

Don't answer it.

If you hear whistling after dark...

Don't whistle back.

And if something in the forest looks almost human...

You probably shouldn't stick around long enough to figure out what it is.

Feral people.

Things mimicking human voices.

The Not Deer.

Wolf-like creatures.

Mothman.

Strange knocks in the woods.

Missing people.

Government “assets.”

And some seriously creepy videos.

Then we move into Rebel Report, Folks on Fire, Sacked, Boners, baseball, the Nutcracker Car Club golf tournament, and Today in History.

But first...

We're going into the woods.

APPALACHIA: Things That Go Bump in the Night

There are normal rules for going into the wilderness.

Bring water.

Know where you're going.

Tell somebody where you'll be.

Carry the right equipment.

Then there are the rules people talk about in Appalachia.

Don't whistle after dark.

Don't respond when something calls your name.

If you hear screaming in the woods—no, you didn't.

Stay on the trail.

And sometimes it's better not to investigate.

Episode 34 asks where these warnings came from.

Are they simply folklore passed down through generations?

Are they explanations for strange but completely natural events?

Or is there something happening in those mountains that we don't completely understand?

One of America's Oldest Mountain Ranges

Part of what makes Appalachia perfect for these stories is the environment itself.

Ancient mountains.

Dense forests.

Remote valleys.

Abandoned mines.

Caves.

Waterways.

Areas where you can travel a very long way without seeing another person.

Once you get off the trail, getting lost isn't difficult.

And when darkness falls...

Every sound starts becoming something else.

The Woman in the Woods

The first creepy video shows hikers encountering a strange woman who seemingly appears in the woods.

She begins following them and attempting to convince them to go another direction.

Nope.

That immediately leads into one of the stranger legends surrounding Appalachia:

Feral people.

The stories describe isolated groups supposedly living deep in remote areas, separated from normal society.

Whether those stories have any truth behind them is another question.

But if a stranger appears out of nowhere in the middle of the forest and starts asking you to follow them...

We're probably going the opposite direction.

Stay on the Trail

One recurring theme in Appalachian lore is simple:

Stay on the trail.

The Appalachian Trail and surrounding wilderness cover an enormous area, and even without anything supernatural involved, getting lost in dense mountain terrain can become dangerous very quickly.

But according to the folklore, leaving the trail can introduce you to something else entirely.

That's where stories about disappearing hikers, strange sounds, creatures, and people seemingly appearing from nowhere begin.

And it raises another question:

How many supernatural stories started because somebody simply became lost in one of the most unforgiving environments in the country?

Don't Whistle After Dark

This might be the most famous Appalachian warning.

Don't whistle in the woods at night.

Why?

Depending on which story you hear, whistling can attract something.

Maybe an animal.

Maybe another person.

Maybe something you really don't want knowing where you are.

Whether you believe that or not...

When you're standing alone in a pitch-black forest miles from civilization, suddenly testing the legend doesn't sound like such a great idea.

If Something Calls Your Name — Don't Answer

Another rule:

If you hear your name coming from the woods...

Don't respond.

Especially if you know nobody should be out there.

Stories of voices, screams, whistles, crying children, and sounds resembling people are everywhere in wilderness folklore.

But there is also a completely natural explanation for at least some of them.

The Woods Make Some Terrifying Sounds

Cougars can sound like screaming women.

Foxes can produce bizarre vocalizations.

Coyotes.

Bobcats.

Owls.

Crows.

Wind.

Echoes.

All of them can create sounds that our brains attempt to interpret.

And humans are extremely good at filling in missing information.

Hear a strange noise?

Your brain tries to turn it into something recognizable.

The problem is...

Sometimes recognizing it makes it even scarier.

Something Followed Him Home

Another video takes the conversation in a much creepier direction.

A man claims something followed him home from what he calls a “gifting rock.”

Late at night, he sees something apparently watching him from his roof.

He walks around the building.

Nothing.

Comes back.

There it is again.

Whether the video shows something unexplained, an animal, a person, or something staged is impossible to establish from the clip alone.

But it raises a rule that should probably apply everywhere:

Whatever creepy thing you found in the woods—don't bring it home.

“Get Up Here, Carly!”

Then comes one of the creepiest videos of the episode.

A family is outside during the daytime.

Something suddenly moves through the background.

Long limbs.

Unnatural movement.

Gone almost immediately.

The guys connect its appearance to stories about Skinwalker-like or shapeshifting creatures.

And unlike some modern viral videos, the guys remember this particular clip circulating years earlier.

Whatever it is...

Nobody volunteers to go find it.

Skinwalkers, Shapeshifters and Things That Look Almost Human

That opens up the larger creature discussion.

Throughout Appalachian and broader American folklore, there are stories about beings that don't look completely wrong.

That's what makes them disturbing.

They look almost right.

Almost human.

Almost an animal.

Almost something you recognize.

But something about the proportions, movement, eyes, voice, or behavior is off.

And that's where we get to one of the strangest examples of the episode.

The Not Deer

It looks like a deer.

Sort of.

According to the stories, the proportions aren't quite right.

The legs appear wrong.

The eyes don't behave like a normal deer's eyes.

The movement seems unnatural.

It's recognizable enough that your brain says:

Deer.

Then you look again.

And something is wrong.

The creature has become known online and in modern Appalachian folklore as the:

Not Deer.

A perfect name for something you probably don't want to investigate.

Missing 411 and People Who Vanish

Then the conversation gets more serious.

People really do disappear in wilderness areas.

Sometimes they're found.

Sometimes they're not.

Episode 34 connects those disappearances with the popular Missing 411 discussions surrounding unusual missing-person cases in wilderness areas.

One particularly creepy element discussed is search dogs allegedly following a scent...

Until suddenly there is nothing left to follow.

The trail simply ends.

Natural explanation?

Terrain?

Weather?

Bad tracking conditions?

Or something stranger?

That's where the rabbit hole begins.

The Trucker and the Wolf-Like Creature

One of the wildest stories in Episode 34 involves a trucker traveling through Appalachia at night.

According to the story discussed on the show, something begins running alongside his semi.

Not behind it.

Not briefly crossing the road.

Keeping pace with the truck.

The driver describes something resembling a werewolf.

Eventually the creature allegedly gets close enough to reach toward the cab.

The driver fires at it.

The creature falls.

He continues until he finds somewhere large enough to turn the truck around.

Then he returns.

And the story gets much stranger.

“You Shot Our Asset”

According to the version discussed on the show, when the trucker returns, people are already there.

The creature is gone.

And the people supposedly tell him something along the lines of:

You shot our asset.

That immediately sends the conversation into government experiments, biological programs, genetic manipulation, and the possibility that some cryptid stories aren't supernatural at all.

What if somebody built them?

That's the conspiracy.

Not established fact.

But definitely enough to keep Fringe Files alive for another week.

The Government Experiment Rabbit Hole

From there, Episode 34 goes deeper.

Genetic experimentation.

Human experimentation.

Hybrid creatures.

Secret programs.

Goat-man stories.

Ancient depictions of human bodies with animal heads.

And the question:

What if some ancient artwork wasn't symbolic?

What if somebody was drawing what they believed they actually saw?

Again, we're firmly inside conspiracy territory now.

But that's exactly where this show likes to go.

Mothman

Then one of America's most famous cryptids makes an appearance.

Mothman.

The guys discuss the sightings associated with Point Pleasant, West Virginia, during the 1960s.

A winged humanoid figure.

Repeated sightings.

Then the collapse of the Silver Bridge.

Afterward, sightings around that area reportedly stopped.

That helped create one of the enduring theories surrounding Mothman:

Does it cause disasters?

Or does it appear before them?

Warning?

Observer?

Coincidence?

Nobody knows.

But Mothman has remained part of American folklore ever since.

DNA, Hybrids and the Nephilim Rabbit Hole

And then Episode 34 gets really weird.

The conversation turns toward DNA companies, government agencies, genetic databases, hybrid bloodlines, remote viewing, and even theories involving the Nephilim.

Could somebody be searching for particular genetic traits?

Could ancient bloodlines survive in modern populations?

Could genetic databases theoretically make finding those traits easier?

There's no shortage of theories.

And once somebody brings up Nephilim blood...

You know we've gone deep.

Three Knocks in the Woods

Another old warning:

Three knocks.

Hikers and hunters sometimes report hearing knocks against trees.

Knock back...

And supposedly something answers.

Sometimes from somewhere else.

Then somewhere else again.

The guys connect that to another piece of folklore involving three unexplained knocks at a door and associations with approaching death.

Whether it's folklore, animals, other hikers, trees shifting, or something else...

Maybe don't knock back.

The Stories Are Older Than the Internet

This becomes one of the most interesting parts of the discussion.

Modern social media can create legends extremely quickly.

One creepy TikTok becomes ten.

Ten become a hundred.

Soon everybody has heard the same story.

But many wilderness legends existed long before TikTok, YouTube, Reddit, or even television.

Some were passed down for generations.

Episode 34 discusses Indigenous stories associated with the region as another reason the guys don't immediately dismiss everything as modern internet fiction.

Maybe the stories changed.

Maybe the names changed.

But people have been telling stories about strange things in the wilderness for a very long time.

Our Own Weird Woods Story

Then the conversation comes closer to home.

During a hunting trip, the guys encounter what appears to be an unusually large coyote.

Large enough to immediately stand out.

Instead of running away like expected, it stops.

Turns.

Makes eye contact.

And simply watches.

An easy shot is available.

But something feels wrong.

So nobody shoots.

Later, they hear about possible wolf-coyote hybrids in the area.

Maybe that's exactly what it was.

Probably nothing supernatural at all.

But when you're standing in the woods staring at an animal that isn't behaving the way you expect...

Your brain starts asking questions.

Current Creek Is Haunted

Then we get another important scientific conclusion from Episode 34:

Current Creek is haunted.

At least according to the show.

There are stories about screaming animals, strange experiences, dark woods, and enough weirdness that nobody seems particularly excited about investigating anything at 2:00 in the morning.

Four camper walls.

Guns nearby.

Whatever is outside can stay outside until sunrise.

Probably a solid wilderness policy regardless of whether you believe in cryptids.

The Real Question About Appalachia

After all the videos, folklore and stories, the real question isn't whether every story is true.

Obviously they can't all be taken as established fact.

The interesting question is:

Why does this region produce so many of them?

Environment?

Isolation?

Ancient folklore?

Dangerous wildlife?

People disappearing in enormous wilderness areas?

Stories passed from generation to generation?

Or something we haven't figured out?

Maybe it's one.

Maybe it's all of them.

But one thing is certain:

If we're hiking Appalachia...

We're staying on the damn trail.

Rebel Report

After spending the first part of the show worrying about creatures in the forest, Episode 34 moves into Rebel Report.

The segment covers several controversial current-event stories and the hosts' reactions to them, including a reported fire at a site associated with St. Patrick in Ireland, immigration and cultural-assimilation debates in Europe, public disorder and crime, and a large fight aboard a Carnival cruise reportedly sparked by a shortage of chicken tenders.

The discussion expands into policing, community responsibility, protests, theft, businesses leaving high-crime areas, and the broader question of what happens when destructive behavior carries too few consequences.

Another Teacher Scandal

Then the recurring teacher-story counter goes up again.

The episode discusses allegations against a Georgia high-school biology teacher accused of sexual conduct involving students.

The story takes another turn because court documents discussed in the report alleged that students attempted to blackmail the teacher for better grades.

The guys' reaction is basically:

How are we still doing this segment every week?

At this point, nobody even knows what number they're on.

Thirteen?

Fourteen?

Too many.

Charlie Kirk / Candace Owens Discussion

Rebel Report also includes a discussion of claims being circulated by Candace Owens concerning Charlie Kirk's death.

The guys discuss theories involving his microphone, the vehicle used afterward, security personnel, law enforcement, and other alleged inconsistencies.

Importantly, these are discussed on the episode as claims and theories, not independently established facts.

And naturally...

The conversation immediately starts digging for a conspiracy.

Folks on Fire: Nut Kracker Car Club

Time for something positive.

The first Folks on Fire goes to the Nut Kracker Car Club and everybody who helped put together the club's golf tournament.

After skipping the previous year, the tournament returned.

And according to the guys:

It went extremely well.

Players had a good time.

The team pulled together.

The awards went smoothly.

And everybody involved deserves recognition.

Folks on Fire: Blue Dart Iron Art

A special shout-out goes to Rob Varga and Blue Dart Iron Art.

Rob created and donated a custom fire pit as a raffle prize for the tournament.

His work involves custom metal art created from repurposed everyday materials, and the fire pit becomes one of the highlights of the event.

Naturally, somebody eventually buys it from the raffle winner.

Because there was no chance that thing was leaving the group.

Folks on Fire: “Are You In or Out?”

Another Folks on Fire gets personal.

A video perfectly captures the relationship between the guys:

“Are you in or out?”

“What are we doing?”

“No time for questions.”

“Then I'm out.”

“Actually, you're already in.”

That's apparently how most adventures begin.

There is no real invitation.

There is no detailed plan.

Somebody shows up at your house.

Your tools are already involved.

Congratulations.

You're going on an adventure.

Folks on Fire: Japan

The final Folks on Fire turns toward Japan.

The hosts praise what they describe as Japan's emphasis on protecting its own culture and expecting people entering the country to adapt to local norms rather than expecting the country to change around them.

That leads back into the broader cultural-assimilation discussion from Rebel Report.

SACKED

Then we return to one of the great traditions of Wolves & Wisemen:

Watching men experience catastrophic failures involving their reproductive equipment.

This week's collection includes a construction-site lunch delivery that becomes a “sacked lunch,” a skateboard failure powerful enough to apparently remove a shoe, and baseball footage that launches a detailed conversation about one of life's important questions:

When exactly should a baseball player wear a cup?

Catcher?

Absolutely.

Infield?

Probably a good idea.

Outfield?

Apparently things get complicated.

This is the type of educational content people come here for.

Boners of the Week

After balls...

And the ass ad...

We arrive at Boners.

One nomination is intentionally kept light because there were already enough aggravating stories during Rebel Report.

Another goes back to baseball and a player getting ejected after arguing with an umpire.

The segment is mostly an excuse for more baseball trash talk and laughing when somebody the guys don't particularly like has a bad day.

Sometimes Boners doesn't need to solve the world's problems.

Sometimes somebody is just being a boner.

Today in History

Episode 34 closes with Today in History.

June 30, 1953 — The First Corvette

The first production Corvette rolls off the line.

Only 300 were produced for the 1953 model year.

White exterior.

Red interior.

Convertible.

And the guys had actually seen Corvette #1 at a previous Autorama.

1864 — Yosemite Grant Act

The episode also recognizes Abraham Lincoln signing the Yosemite Grant Act.

The event becomes an important step in the history of protected public lands in the United States.

1934 — Night of the Long Knives

The guys discuss Adolf Hitler's purge of members and perceived rivals within his own movement during what became known as the Night of the Long Knives.

A considerably darker turn for Today in History.

Charles Blondin Crosses Niagara Falls

And finally, French daredevil Charles Blondin becomes the first person to cross Niagara Gorge on a tightrope.

Because apparently looking at Niagara Falls and thinking,

“That's beautiful.”

wasn't enough.

Somebody had to walk across it on a rope.

Episode 34

Appalachian folklore.

Feral people.

Voices in the woods.

The Not Deer.

Missing 411.

Government assets.

Mothman.

Hybrid DNA.

Nephilim.

Three knocks.

A giant coyote.

Current Creek.

Rebel Report.

Golf.

Sacked.

Boners.

And the first Corvette.

Episode 34 is basically what happens when Wolves & Wisemen decides to go camping...

And spends the week beforehand researching every possible reason they shouldn't.

There are plenty of completely rational explanations for strange things people experience in remote wilderness.

Animals make terrifying noises.

People get lost.

Darkness messes with your perception.

Stories grow with every retelling.

And viral videos aren't evidence by themselves.

But generations of wilderness folklore still make for one hell of a conversation.

So if you're heading into Appalachia:

Stay on the trail.

Don't follow strangers into the woods.

Don't investigate screaming at 2:00 in the morning.

And whatever you do...

Don't whistle back.

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